Sparts Marketing Blography

"I'm just a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude."

2008-08-25T12:49:00.004-04:00

"I'm just a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude."
by Kurt Hunzeker (with some copy points provided by the movie Tropic Thunder)

Remember me? Considering it's been almost 13 months, a lot has happened:

New job.
New posts on The Business of Sports Network.
"Lost" flashes backwards and forwards.

And some things remain the same:

Cubs still have yet to win a World Series.
Jack Bauer has not come back on the air.
Teams still need help with their collective creativity.

I mean seriously...Bowling Green Cave Shrimp?

"Same thing happened to me. They found me in a back alley when I thought I was Neil Armstrong and was trying to reenter the Earth's atmosphere in a refrigerator box."

Name-the-team contests are good for one thing only...database capture. If someone decided to take 15 minutes of his/her time to either submit or nominate "Bowling Green Cave Shrimp," then A) they want to connect with the team, and/or B) they rely on Wikipedia waaaaay too much, and/or C) they have smoked/inhaled/injected/drank waaaaay too much in their past.

Is the sports world really out of suitable nicknames? The seven finalists for the baseball team-formerly-known-as-the Columbus Catfish are really, really, really, really not good. "Mammoths" being the lone exception, and by "exception," I mean that it is just really, really, really not good.

I don't have the silver bullet here, but I have to think that the team name has already been selected in this case, and the name-the-team contest is merely the vehicle to generate qualified ticket sales leads for the team.

So in honor of the horror that could be the Bowling Green Cave Shrimp, I now make my return to half-mock/half-provide strategic answers for any team and/or sponsor with their sports marketing plans.

But what do you say?....

"A nutless monkey could do your job."

Why, thank you. For the past 13 months, the nutless monkey I put in charge of the Blography did a fine job of doing nothing. In the coming months, I will be putting my typing hands and my diploma (Mizzou, AP #6 as I type) to the test with the creation of the Active Ballpark Collection, the premier marketplace for buyers and sellers of all things baseball.

Did I mention Active's 20-million strong registered user consumer base? Or did I mention their willingness...er, better yet...desire to improve their sports participation experience with the latest apparel, gadgets and products?

I will highlight the development of this endeavor as it takes form...all while continuing to bring out everyone's A game with detailed analysis of the sports business industry's latest news, trends and top secrets.

Stay thirsty, my friends.

Movin' On Up!

2007-08-09T16:06:00.001-04:00

The Sparts Marketing Blography is now a featured column on The Business of Sports Network.

You will find the same creative articles (sans the movie quotes) on www.bizofbaseball.com, www.bizoffootball.com, www.bizofbasketball.com, and www.bizofhockey.com.

I will continue to write smaller ideas and analysis on this site, including ideas easily explained through the immortal words of Ron Burgundy, Irwin F. Fletcher, Ty Webb and Dirk Diggler.

Continue to enjoy the Sparts Marketing Blography, and please take a peak at any of The Business of Sports Network sites.

“That's quite a nice little nothing you're almost wearing. I approve."

2007-04-10T01:45:00.000-04:00

By Kurt Hunzeker (with some copy points provided by the movie Diamonds Are Forever)

With the 2007 baseball season entering its second week (and due to last week’s snow storms, first week in some markets), the Sparts Marketing Blography is debuting a new weekly feature (we promise) called “Sparts Marketing Blography’s Sports Promotions Made Better,” or SMB’s SPMBs.

We will review the best sports promotion from the week before, how it was executed on-site, the impact to the consumer, the recurring value for the sponsor and any additional press coverage and exposure due to the promotion’s innovation or overall “wow” factor...and then highlight how we would have made the promotion better.

This week’s inaugural SMB SPMB…the St. Louis Cardinals’ Replica Ring Night sponsored by Edward Jones and FSN Midwest, witnessed firsthand last Tuesday (April 3) at Busch Stadium.

Before discussing the promotional item itself, one should consider that once the Cardinals broke tradition and announced that the World Series Ring Ceremony would be held prior to the second game of the season, ticket prices in the secondary market (eBay, StubHub, Craigslist, etc.) skyrocketed. From my own personal experience, I locked in bleacher tickets via StubHub at face value. By the time the game started last Tuesday, bleacher seats that list for $16 (single-game only) were fetching in excess of $80-$100…partly because of the Replica Ring Night promotion. That is definitely worth mentioning.

“Well, hardest substance found in nature, they cut glass, suggest marriages, I suppose it replaced the dog as the girl's best friend. That's about it.”

All fans who entered Busch Stadium received a plastic, somewhat cheap-looking replica ring of the real version distributed to Cardinals’ players, coaches, staff, Hall of Famers and announcers in a pre-game ceremony.

The authentic ring consisted of 50 flawless diamonds arranged as a diamond enclosing the stylized “StL” logo (set with 32 rubies mined from Myanmar in Southeast Asia) the Cardinals feature on their home and away caps. Each ring’s jewels consist of four total karats.

No one is officially saying the worth of each ring, but an appraiser in St. Louis recently provided the necessary insurance documentation for a Cardinal executive…and let’s just say the rings are NOT cheap.

But the replica rings are. Cubic zirconium does not look like diamonds, and what was supposed to be the ruby-emblazoned insignia was actually painted plastic.

Some fans kyboshed the idea of keeping the plastic ring “fused” onto the wooden-esque base sporting the logos of both presenting sponsors. Unfortunately, the replica rings’ faulty paint job caused the “gold” to stay on the base while the unattached ring sported a nice “dull” spot where the paint/glue was located.

The other problem with removing the ring from the base centered on de-valuing the economical replica ring. Similar to taking a rare toy out of its original packaging, separating the two pieces completely destroyed any re-sell value for the replica ring in the secondary market.

Sellers hawking replica rings posted inventory upwards of two weeks before the actual promotional night…and potential buyers were bidding like crazy. eBay’s winning auctions averaged around $85 per replica ring (including the always-entertaining subjective value for shipping and handling). That’s why I thoroughly enjoyed two highlights of this promotion:

1) Buyers stood around the gates (both inside and outside Busch Stadium) offering to buy rings from fans for only $20. I equate this to trading a big, shiny nickel for a small little dime with your little brother.

2) Ticket-holders walked into the ballpark, collected their prize, and promptly walked right out. I estimate at least 75 people did this at the left-field gate alone. That says something about either A) the perceived value of the promotion, or B) the perceived cost of attending a game.

Plenty O'Toole: "Hi, I'm Plenty."
James Bond: "But of course you are."
Plenty: "Plenty O'Toole."
Bond: "Named after your father perhaps?"

Based on the somewhat-flawed analytical annual report by My Old Friends, the cost for a family of four to attend a game at Busch Stadium is $209.23, the 7th-highest among all MLB teams. By not spending $209.23 (+$209.23 in savings, minus the average cost per ticket [$28.43, or $113.72 for the group]) and picking up four rings and selling them for the estimated winning auction price of $85 (+$340.00), an enterprising family of four could stand $453.72 richer.

Everything in the previous paragraph is utterly absurd, but so is the sports collectible business.

From the fans’ perspective only, a promotion like this, with a higher value is placed on the giveaway item than on the game itself, could not get any better, right?

Wrong.

(Obviously, the team’s goal by having a “premium” giveaway like this is to attract fans, and their disposable income, inside the ballpark and for the entire game; collecting parking fees, trips to the concession line, souvenir stands and activity centers along the way.)

James Bond: "What do you intend to do with those diamonds?"
Blofeld: "An excellent question. And one which will be hanging on the lips of the world quite soon. If I were to break the news to anyone it would be to you first, Mr. Bond, you know that."

The Replica Ring Night promotion would have set records for press coverage, next-day water cooler discussions and cries of “They did what?” if the Cardinals would have added one little item to the promotional festivities....

A real ring. For one extraordinarily lucky fan in baseball’s most passionate fan base.

Realizing that publicly announcing this (safe-to-say) five-figure wrinkle would incite riots even among religious St. Louisians, the Cardinals would not be able to disclose the Authentic “#1 Fan” Ring until the #1 Fan was in possession of said ring.

As the Vice President of Marketing for the Cardinals, this is how I would pull this off, and the positive press stemming from this diamond-level premium promotion:

1) With the financial help of the night’s sponsors, Edward Jones and FSN Midwest, I would make one extra ring featuring “#1 Fan” on the ring in place of the last name, with the inscription “You won the greatest giveaway ever.”

2) To protect against theft, I would personally hold onto the ring (an in-park safe/safe-deposit box would house the ring) until the winner redeemed his or her lucky treasure.

3) All but one box would contain the replica ring, so fans would not know that we had something else planned for the evening. The winning box would contain a simple message stating: “We had difficulties placing your ring in this box. Please visit Guest Relations on the Lower Concourse to pick up your ring. But hurry, you must pick it up during tonight’s game.”

Now here’s where the “Choose Your Own Adventure” begins. Consider the 75 jackasses that picked up their phony rings (still in a taped cardboard box), only to realize once he or she was home that their giveaway item was still at Busch. This non-fan is not driving back downtown to pick up the ring, considering he/she cannot get back into the ballpark. This scenario could really bring heartache once the cat is out of the bag (more on this shortly).

Then there is the derivative of the preceding setting, and that is the fan who decides to not open the cardboard box until he/she arrives back at home, limiting any possibility of damage or theft. This problem is fixed by making a simple PA announcement asking fans to open their boxes and take out their rings for a ballpark-wide photo opportunity to send to Guinness Record Books, the Baseball Hall of Fame or for an upcoming issue of Gameday Magazine. At least make one effort to get people to look inside.

Finally, Scenario C…you read this cryptic message and ask your friends, family or whoever you came to the game with if they received the same note. When every answer back is “no,” you know something good awaits you at Guest Services. You don’t walk…you run to find out.

I, along with a rather imposing-looking security guard, await you the winner at Guest Services. I am feverishly talking into a walkie-talkie sounding angry and annoyed, but only to play the promotion out to the fullest. We allow you to bring anyone you brought with you to “come with us.”

We escort you through the Cardinals’ executive offices, through the packed Redbird Club, up a private access stairwell…and into promotional sponsor FSN Midwest’s booth, where announcers Joe Buck, Al Hrabosky and Dan McLaughlin patiently wait to announce over-the-air why your ring was not in your box.

At this point, team president Mark Lamping enters holding the same etched glass box each player and employee received with their ring, this time containing the “#1 Fan” ring for you, the oh-so-lucky winner.

With real ring in hand, you pass out, but not before shouting at least one obscenity causing the FSN Midwest truck downstairs to thank the FCC for the 7-second delay rule.

Blofeld: "Right idea, Mr. Bond..."
James Bond: "...but wrong pussy."

For the cost of producing one extra ring, the potential impact for the Cardinals, its fan base and especially the night’s two primary sponsors is enormous, if not, dare I say, exponential?

This fully-integrated promotion would also include the Cardinals’ PR machine to work hand-in-hand with FSN Midwest’s publicity staff and Edward Jones’s PR agency to craft a nationwide distribution list highlighting the never-tried-before promotional giveaway. I guarantee you that every subsequent champion in the other Big Three professional sports leagues would attempt this promotion, or at least a variation of it.

Seriously, a five-figure investment should reap millions of dollars in free advertising and word-of-mouth praise not only in St. Louis, but nationally as well.

In conclusion, I would like to offer my services to the Indianapolis Colts, or this year’s NBA Finals, NHL Stanley Cup and MLB World Series Champions to develop and execute this idea for your fans and your sponsors. You can reach me anytime at kurt at spartsmarketing dot com, or simply visit the Sparts Marketing web site (http://www.spartsmarketing.com/) for more innovative ideas like the FSN Midwest/Edward Jones St. Louis Cardinals “#1 Fan” Authentic Ring Night!

"Puttin' on the foil!"

2007-03-09T18:18:00.000-05:00

By Kurt Hunzeker (with some copy points provided by the movie Slap Shot)

We’re droppin’ the gloves and going to work. That’s right, the full Sparts Marketing website is active.

http://www.spartsmarketing.com/

For anyone wanting to get back to the Sparts Marketing Blography, the link is in the right-hand corner.

The Busch Corollary – “How’s your wife and my kids?”

2007-02-26T15:59:00.000-05:00

By Kurt Hunzeker (with some copy points provided by the movie Major League)

Since Spring Training is in full swing (figuratively and literally), quoting movies like Major League and Bull Durham will be the norm around here for the time being. And Clew Haywood’s unoriginal rip does illustrate one of sports business’s profound headaches…teams whoring their venues’ naming rights.

“I had no choice. She bet me fifty dollars that she had a better body than you and I had to defend your honor.”

With the price of fielding a team in any sport reaching breaking points for some teams, the idea of “sell anything we can” is not a terrible business decision. I was even tasked by an NHL team to walk through its arena and note all of the “dead space” the team could activate to generate more revenues via added corporate sales inventory.

Why some teams still do not employ LED technology throughout their venues is beyond me. The investment to install the equipment will be repaid almost immediately by selling this new (and expansive) inventory than was available before.

But the most gregarious mistake teams and corporate partners alike make is re-selling of a venue’s naming rights AFTER another corporate moniker was attached to it.

Plain and simple, the new name NEVER sticks. And that equals a tarnished investment.

“The post-game show is brought to you by...Christ, I can't find it. To hell with it.”

Because sports business’s New World Order centers on corporate sales, I will call this name changing phenomenon “The Busch Corollary.”

In 1953, August Anheuser “Gussie” Busch, Jr. convinced the brewery’s board of directors to purchase the MLB St. Louis Cardinals. The savvy beer baron sought to change the name of the Cardinals’ home, Sportsman’s Park, to Budweiser Stadium to help advertise the brewery’s signature brand. Baseball’s top executives nixed the idea of having an alcoholic beverage adorn a facility where young fans attended games, but they did allow Busch to rename Sportsman’s Park to Busch Stadium.

The following year, the brewery launched a new brand extension, Busch Beer, as an unsubtle jab at baseball’s no-beer name policy.

But Gussie Busch’s creative thinking did not account for one major problem…Cardinal fans were used to the Sportsman’s Park brand and continued to use it even after the venue switched names. The ballpark’s original given name was Sportsman’s Park, and by God, it was always going to be called that regardless of the owner’s last name or sneaky new beer brand.

Gussie corrected this oversight when construction began on a new Cardinal home in St. Louis’s revitalized downtown business district. Before the cornerstone was placed, the new multi-purpose facility was named Busch Stadium.

From the opening game in 1966 to the ballpark’s demolition in 2005, everyone in Cardinal Nation would head to “Busch” to see their beloved Redbirds.

Before “Busch Stadium II” was reduced to rubble, rumors swirled that Anheuser-Busch would pass on the naming rights for the Cardinals’ new brick ballpark under construction. St. Louis’s traditionalist residents could not fathom watching a game at Pitney Bowes Ballpark or Energizer Field (both locally-based companies).

Baseball in St. Louis meant Baseball at Busch. No one could tell them differently. And thus the birth of The Busch Corollary.

“Yo, bartender, Jobu needs a refill.”

Across America, sports teams and their naming rights holders have fallen prey to The Busch Corollary.

In Houston, the Astros are trying to erase their association with legally-challenged Enron with its new naming rights agreement with Minute Maid. The team even dubbed its new Minute Maid Park as “The Juice Box,” which actually hurts Minute Maid because the name Minute Maid is not attached to the nickname. This all also neglects to highlight the fact that residents still call the ballpark Enron Field because that was the name christened with the new facility, and it is just impossible to erase that from fans’ minds.

San Francisco’s now-named AT&T Park has gone through two name changes since its opening as Pacific Bell Park, aka Pac Bell Park. For those of you scoring at home, that’s three names in the span of seven years; the ballpark opened in 2000. Giants’ fans never called it SBC Park when the Baby Bell merged with its West Coast brethren, and everyone still calls it Pac Bell Park even though the universally-known AT&T re-emerged as the telecommunications giant’s brand in the mid-Naughts.

Oakland’s Coliseum has changed from just the Coliseum to Network Associates Coliseum to the current McAfee Coliseum, while the Athletics’ new home, Cisco Field begins construction later this spring. Fans now know that the “Coliseum” is home, but are looking forward to “Cisco’s” cozy new digs in Fremont.

I could spend pages detailing other examples of The Busch Corollary, and will be highlighting these in the coming weeks as an addendum to this article, or as a separate entry.

The ironic twist to The Busch Corollary is that St. Louis’s other professional sports teams have fallen victim to naming rights switch-a-roos due to selecting poor partners who either A) could not pay the hefty rights fee (the NHL Blues’ naming rights partner Savvis and its executives deciding to spend dollars in New York’s finest gentlemen’s club, Scores), or B) fell victim to a merger/acquisition (the NFL Rams losing longtime airline, TWA, as its primary corporate partner. This latter circumstance is out of the control of the team; the former reflects poorly on the team’s decision-making process.

“Let me get back to you, will ya, Charlie? I got a guy on the other line asking about some white walls.”

What will the future bring? Corporate nicknames on sporting venues are here to stay, and with it, The Busch Corollary will continue as well. Teams should try to protect themselves from Savvis and TWA-esque situations, but they also know that sometimes they cannot control the situation and must take things as they come.

It appears that the Atlanta Braves’ Turner Field will be renamed Liberty Field or something new as the team’s ownership changes hands (from Ted Turner’s old friends at Time Warner to Colorado-based Liberty Media). Chattanooga’s Bellsouth Park is now AT&T Field due to the companies’ recent merger. Orlando’s Amway Arena was re-christened during the season, which is a first for a professional facility, and something I pray never happens again.

The lesson learned is that The Busch Corollary’s real burden falls on the subsequent naming rights holder. The supreme value is being the first name associated with a sports venue (see Citi and New York Mets, Lucas Oil and Indianapolis Colts). For the amount of money required for this high-visibility inventory, companies should consider this a devalued investment since the original rights holder will continue to be top-of-mind in the marketplace long after the final piece of signage is permanently removed.

"Don't you guys go anywhere. I plan to put on a hitting display."

2007-01-28T23:11:00.000-05:00

By Kurt Hunzeker (with some copy points provided by the movie Major League)

In the coming weeks, Sparts Marketing will be more than just this namesake Blography, as the official Sparts Marketing website will be more functional every week.

Check out the new site at http://www.spartsmarketing.com. You will be able to see everything Sparts Marketing is and hopes to be: from access to archived SMB posts to conceptual artwork to real-life campaigns brainstormed, developed and executed by Sparts Marketing's award-winning cast.

Sparts Marketing - uniquely fusing sports with the creative arts as it relates to marketing.

"The post-game show is brought to you by...Christ, I can't find it...the hell with it!"

2007-01-09T18:28:00.000-05:00

By Kurt Hunzeker (with some copy points provided by the movie Major League)

It is amazing to find out firsthand how many baseball purists are out there in the world, and how many of them are in decision-making positions within prospective sponsors' companies.

"I'm hung over, my knees are killin' me and if you're going to pull this shit at least you could've said you were from the Yankees."

For the life of me, I cannot remember ever seeing a Memorandum of Understanding stating that the bullpen car should be buried in time capsule forever. I am actively seeking a presenting sponsor of this long-lost baseball icon and no one seems to be interested in placing their brand on it. Hopefully a forward-thinking soul will gravitate to the idea soon....

"I thought you said we didn't have any high priced talent."

Here's a brief glimpse at what else you may see at South Coast League games this summer:

1) Field managers in suits, a la Tom Landry and Pat Riley...potential sponsors include K&G, Men's Warehouse and Macy's

2) Corporate-branded bases and on-deck circles...think Chick-fil-A's cow-patterns on every on-deck circle...or maybe an image of one of Waffle House's famed waffles

3) Corporate patches on uniforms...a Head On sticker could be applied directly to the forehead of all of our helmets

4) High School Prom Night at the Ballpark - tuxedos, dresses, big hair...potential sponsors include After Hours Formalwear, 1-800-Flowers and Jostens.

5) "Hats For Bats" - bring in used sporting equipment and receive a team cap...a perfect fit for Play It Again Sports

"And if you vote for me, it will be summer all year round."

2006-11-13T12:40:00.000-05:00

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

My dream of the Boise Ligers will not see the light of day as the Artists Formerly Known As the Boise Hawks remained the Boise Hawks in a somewhat odd move.

While repeatedly insisting that one of the main reasons for a brand overhaul was because the team did not own the "Hawks" moniker, Hawks' executives ultimately decided to keep the name and only revamp the logo package...without giving any explanation as to why "Hawks" remained.

Regardless of what I would have loved the name to be, I am more shocked that the Boise Hawks are still the Boise Hawks.

And please, someone please end the trend of beveled wordmarks. The Washington Nationals' version was done right...trying to replicate that with cursive wordmarks just isn't working.

“Vote for Pedro”

2006-08-21T09:20:00.000-04:00

By Kurt Hunzeker (with some copy points provided by the movie Napoleon Dynamite)

“Look, Pedro, I don't know how they do things down in Juarez, but here in Idaho we have a little something called pride. Understand? Smashing in the face of a piñata that resembles Summer Wheatley is a disgrace to you, me, and the entire Gem State.”

Today I am the President and General Manager of the Class A Northwest League’s Boise Hawks. The team has announced plans to change its nickname for the 2007 season, due in part to the fact that it does not own the rights to the “Hawks” name; the NBA Atlanta Hawks own the copyright.

This season marked the 20th anniversary of the “Boise Hawks” franchise. And for 20 seasons, the team was not a top merchandise seller among Minor League Baseball franchises. With monikers like (Hickory) Crawdads, (Vermont) Lake Monsters, (Lansing) Lugnuts and (Carolina) Mudcats emblazoned across the caps and t-shirts of fans across not only their home markets, but nationally as well, selecting a new brand for your team’s name is as vital to a Minor League team’s business as having a deep talent pool take the field each night.

“Just tell them that their wildest dreams will come true if they vote for you.”

Two schools of thought have emerged in recent years regarding new Minor League Baseball team names:

First, a perceived “research overload” by outside agencies who spend thousands of dollars delving into a market, studying its past and conducting focus groups. In essence, this is an over-glorified “Name-the-Team” contest. These teams should have the manpower to handle this in-house, because they should have a better understanding of their marketplace. I admit, having “another set of eyes” helps, but at what cost? Teams employing agencies include the Clearwater Threshers, State College Spikes and West Virginia Power, to name a few.

Secondly, some Major League Baseball clubs have purchased their Minor League affiliates in order to streamline a number of business operations, including team names. The St. Louis Cardinals own the Class AA Springfield Cardinals, and a number of its affiliates utilize the tradition-rich Cardinal brand identity as its core icon: Class AAA Memphis Redbirds, Class A Palm Beach Cardinals and Rookie A Johnson City Cardinals.

Since I just placed myself in charge of the name change, which avenue do I take?

“I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day so I guess you could say things are getting’ pretty serious.”

I am of the belief that people living in Boise knows people who live in Boise best. I say this with a caveat…I would hire a consultant, not an agency, who would come in and execute our ideas. I do not want my ticket sales reps worrying about purchasing enough pizzas for Thursday’s focus group; I want them to sell tickets.

And I want to highlight “focus groups” here and steer everyone clear of “name-the-team” contests. As Dan Simon said to me, “You never win with a ‘name-the-team’ contest. The winner may have 30 percent of the vote, but that just means that 70 percent find at least one fatal flaw with it.” Perfectly stated.

But when a movie filmed in Idaho gives you a name…a name used by kids around the country…a name that has never been used by a sports franchise…then all research is thrown out the door. This is comparable to the gift “The Simpsons” bestowed upon the city of Albuquerque when its fictional, yet beloved “Springfield Isotopes” relocated to New Mexico, only to have the very real-Pacific Coast League expansion team adopt the same name with the blessing of the show’s creator. (“Isotopes” also fits the region’s nuclear testing history; a point that must be addressed.)

And if quotes from Napoleon Dynamite haven’t given it away yet….

Deb: “What are you drawing?”
Napoleon Dynamite: “A liger.”
Deb: “What’s a liger?”
Napoleon Dynamite: “It’s pretty much my favorite animal. It’s like a lion and a tiger mixed…bred for its skills in magic.”

Introducing your BOISE LIGERS.

Without question, the Boise Ligers would assume a top-five position in Minor League Baseball’s merchandise sales. From a promotional perspective, one could dream up countless opportunities using references from the film, and easily expanded upon them to form brand, new ideas and experiences only available during Ligers’ home games.

Similar to my idea for an Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Night at the Ballpark (see post #16 - "Go F*** Yourself, San Diego"), I would solicit the movie’s producers and form a loose partnership because, in essence, the Boise Ligers would be the greatest piece of free advertising the film’s distributors could ever receive.

(And for anyone who thinks that crowds would be bored with the same movie quotes and yuck-yucks every game…come down to Atlanta where the Braves plays the song “Tonto, Get On It” from Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, every time a Braves’ player hits a home run. Fans are genuinely upset if they don’t hear that sound bite every game.)

I am sure gem-related names (Diamonds, Miners, blah blah blah) will get its fair-share of attention during this process, and I am sure some derivative of potatoes will find its way onto the short list (Spuds, yada yada yada), but in the end, the movie that actually paints a realistic (and extraordinarily funny) picture of Idahoan life should have its most famous, magical animal adorn the caps, jerseys, t-shirts, lunchboxes and bobbleheads of Boise’s fabled franchise…the Boise Ligers.

And when the revenues begin to increase in every facet of the team's business, you will easily hear me say:

“Yessssssssss.”

“You've got three pairs. You can't have six cards! You can't have six cards in a five-card game!”

2006-08-17T18:53:00.000-04:00

By Kurt Hunzeker (with some copy points provided by the movie Ocean’s Eleven)

For Post 21, and one that centers on Part 2 of the NBA’s upcoming All-Star Game in Las Vegas, you knew I was going into the well and use quotes from one of the best Vegas-centric movies of all-time, Ocean’s Eleven.

When we left off, I proposed focusing all marketing efforts on the 21-and-up crowd, because when you couple the NBA with Las Vegas, parents will not be quick to take their kids to the epicenter of gambling, debauchery and the very accurate “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas” experience.

With an understanding that the youth market is truly “tomorrow’s paying consumers,” I believe the NBA has a golden opportunity to market this particular All-Star Game unlike any all-star game ever played in any professional league. The Vegas All-Star Game will be on par with the glamour, celebrity and star power of the Super Bowl. And this should be a boon for the Association and its sponsors.

The NBA’s corporate partner roster should be clamoring to activate its sponsorship with the All-Star Game. Combine all of the elements of this platform: the market (Las Vegas), the particular time of year (warm in Vegas; winter just about everywhere else), proximity to star power (Hollywood is a short flight away), the NBA’s emerging young stars (James, Wade, Anthony), the NBA’s best still at their peak (Bryant, Duncan, Garnett and – in popularity – Shaq)…you have a recipe for some of the most sought-after tickets (basketball-related activities AND casino-based clubs/parties).

Consider if you will….

“Ted Nugent called, he wants his shirt back.”

Crazy ideas, as in Ted Nugent-crazy, will win with our core market. The über-savvy 21-35 set gravitate towards the direct, one-on-one experience; not traditional mass marketing vehicles. From DVRs fast-forwarding commercials to waiting for movies to come out on DVD, our target consumer won’t even consider a static message unless an attractive carrot is attached to it.

And these “carrots” highlight the following ideas customized for some of the 21 – that’s right, the magical, Las Vegas number of 21 – major NBA official marketing partners each should employ to garner the interest (and purchasing power) of our core demographic:

Toyota – “I’m gonna get out of the car and drop you like third period French.”

The goal for automakers’ sponsorships centers on having a desire audience actually get inside one of their vehicles. In the same manner that beverage companies utilize sports team partnerships to provide a venue to sample its drinks, or airlines highlight its services to add passengers, car companies want potential consumers to test drive their lines of cars, trucks and SUVs.

Introducing …Toyota’s “Moving Forward…to Center Court” Sweepstakes

Goal…Increase test drives and purchases from 21-35 demographic

Execution…Conduct national sweeps where test drivers of certain lines of Toyota vehicles enter for a chance to not only win an all-expenses paid trip to Las Vegas, but courtside seats taken directly from the seats of an actual Toyota vehicle. The same lucky winners win Toyota vehicles to take home with them.

Support…National advertising featuring NBA stars as Toyota car salesmen taking 21-35 year-olds for test drives around the country, all eventually ending up on the Las Vegas Strip.

Anheuser-Busch – “Ten oughta do it, don’t you think? You think we need one more? You think we need one more. All right, we’ll get one more.”

Introducing…Budweiser Select’s “Kings of the RoundBall”

Goal…Grow Anheuser-Busch’s newest entry in the light/low-carb beer category as the top choice among 21-35 year olds; the exact demographic Las Vegas targets

Execution…Plaster Las Vegas with Bud Select’s crown icon

Support… Co-branded Budweiser Select/All-Star Game-branded matchbooks in every casino; place crown logo on all room keys; partner with Playboy, Maxim and all other parties scheduled for that weekend…the list goes on and on….

Southwest Airlines – “Apparently, he's got a record longer than my…well, it's long.”

Introducing…Southwest Airlines’ “Pick-and-Roll Your Way to Vegas” Sweepstakes

Goal…Grow Southwest Airlines business nationally, with a focus on cross-country flights

Execution…Reward customers who travel more than 500 miles round-trip with exclusive entry to win an all-expense paid trip to Las Vegas for the All-Star Game

Support…Partner with high-end hotel and casino to provide luxury accommodations; blanket each Southwest Airlines gate with co-branded point-of-sale; cross-promote during NFL telecasts this fall (Southwest Airlines is the Official Airline of the NFL); invite NFL stars to attend VIP party in Las Vegas…again, the list goes on and on….

Las Vegas provides you a backdrop to just about do anything. Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

“My contribution to birth control.”

2006-07-25T23:46:00.000-04:00

#20 – “My contribution to birth control.”
By Kurt Hunzeker (with some copy points provided by the movie Tango & Cash)

After a bit of a break to tend to other projects, I am back and firing movie quotes every which way while examining the world of Sparts Marketing. This summer has seen an influx of excellent ideas (MLB’s continued use of prominent designers to create excellent All-Star Game logos) and a wealth of redundant collegiate logos (too many to list; anyone who uses free fonts now resides in Dante’s third circle of hell) and further expansion of the dreaded ABA team logo.

But the Sparts Marketing Blography is more than just an analysis of sports brand identities. Sparts Marketing also encompasses the creative ideas in the marketplace today, or maybe some ideas that need to see the light of day.

With the latter in mind, I am enhancing the “If I Was In Charge” series within the SMB to actually place myself in the shoes of an actual team, league or sponsor and rattle off ideas of what I would do if given the chance to market their products without much regard to a budget. (I promise to be at least cognizant of some monetary limitations.)

As always, I will let the quotes of some of the silver screen’s best outline each column. So it’s time to get FUBAR….

“My contribution to birth control.”

I am the NBA’s Director of Events; specifically focused on next year’s All-Star Game in Las Vegas. Browse through the other columns and you will quickly find out that I am a big fan of Sin City. As a fan, I couldn’t be happier that the Association chose Vegas to showcase its best players. But as the NBA’s Director of Events, I am scared to death and have already stopped sleeping well…more than six months before All-Star Week begins.

Tango’s slick move of placing a grenade down a guy’s pants, thus his “contribution to birth control,” is not that bad of an idea for me leading up to this week. The combination of NBA players (and don’t think for a minute that non-All Stars won’t show up, because they will) and Vegas’s “What Happens Here, Stays Here?” mantra will keep the NBA’s PR department on Code Red all weekend long.

One of the first items I would concentrate on would be to strengthen and expand the PR department. A Molotov cocktail is just ready to explode if something bad happens. I want the best and the brightest working on worst-case scenarios now…just in case. I want brochures and videos sent to teams prior to the Break letting them know of the pitfalls associated with the unsavory types that will flock to Vegas to party with and possibly take advantage of multi-million dollar athletes. Sex, drugs, booze, sex, drugs, sex, sex and sex.

To combat this, I am putting the Maloofs in charge of “Awareness and Prevention.” They are well-respected, they know the city and they won’t screw this weekend up…Las Vegas is their de facto city.

Cash: “I don’t know about you, but I have an aversion to getting F.U.B.A.R….”
Tango: “What’s F.U.B.A.R.?”
Cash: “Fucked-Up Beyond All Recognition.”

The movie’s classic quote also encompasses what I’m feeling about everything regarding this week. As mentioned, I’m leery that this weekend could set the record for most conceptions within a 2-mile radius over three days. What else could go wrong? Hmmm….

1) The allocation and sale of tickets for the rather small Thomas & Mack Center.

2) The allocation of hotel rooms for All-Stars, league sponsors, team executives, etc. This has nightmare written all over it because anyone who’s been to Vegas knows which hotels are the hot spots (MGM, Mandalay, Palms, Wynn, Bellagio) and which ones are too “old school” (anything downtown) or too far down on The Strip (Sahara, Hilton).

3) The influx of socialites (both Hollywood and Joe/Jane Schmoe looking for a good time) will just wreak havoc on the players’ NBA-mandated schedules. These players will have to meet with our big league sponsors; not just gear up for the Maxim, Playboy and every other men’s magazine that will set up shop in Las Vegas that weekend.

4) The complete lack of kids to market to this week. This is so important, it needs its own quote….

Tango: “I’ve got good news and bad news.”
Cash: “What’s the bad news?”
Tango: “We’re almost out of gas.”
Cash: “What’s the good news?”
Tango: “We’re ALMOST out of gas.”

Good news: The NBA is branching out to new cities, and one of the most exciting cities in the world. Bad news: No parent will allow their kids within 100 miles of Las Vegas.

Consider the Jam Session…it NEEDS kids to make it successful. How many adults will play in the Cartoon Network area? Will Jr. NBA and Jr. WNBA clinics have enough kids for a full squad?

This is a serious problem. In previous years, parents who could not get tickets for All-Star Games in Los Angeles, Denver and Houston would take their kids to the Jam Session and spend a full day “experiencing the NBA.” In Las Vegas, that plan is obsolete.

I propose focusing entirely on the 21+ crowd. Concentrate all efforts on winning over the casual fan that can really spend some money with the Association.

“Austin? Austin, Massachusetts?”

2006-05-02T19:21:00.000-04:00

By Kurt Hunzeker (with some copy points provided by the movie Road Trip)

In January 1999, during my last semester of college at Thee University of Missouri, (and before MasterCard’s advertising showcased two college barnstorming the country to see every Major League Baseball ballpark in one summer), I wanted to set out on a chronicled, corporate-backed “road trip” to see every MLB and select Minor League Baseball ballparks during the summer of 1999, before I started a job as the low-man-on-the-totem-pole in “the real world.”

The deal I made with myself was that this idea was a go if I didn’t land a full-time, paying job by April 15, 1999. So I had to get going to find my corporate friends who would ultimately fund this misadventure, because everyone knows that would-be graduates don’t really have something called a “savings account.”

My beloved 1987 Volkswagen Golf (with its mismatched, multi-blue hued panels) would serve as my Enterprise on my trek across the U.S. of A. I was not only prepared but welcoming the opportunity to NASCAR my ride and slap corporate sponsor decals all over “The Turtle” as I affectionately called the Volkswagen. It would have help cover the multi-blue Technicolor paint scheme I was sporting back then.

But which corporate partners would be perfect fits for this journey, and why exactly would they even want to be associated with a guy like me?

“Invested? Who are you, Charles Schwab? Would you listen to yourself? I would give my life for one night of consensual sex with her.”

I needed investors, but not just any old investor. Much like running a team’s corporate partnerships division, I had certain categories that would be perfect fits for the Road Trip of ’99 and categories that would benefit from a promotional platform such as a 22-year-old avoiding the real-life “Office Space.”

If you are traveling cross-country for 3-4 months, in a car that may or may not make it through to the end, where will most of the expenditures go?

1) Food
2) Drink
3) Shelter
4) Gas

And what would I use the most?

5) Bank/Credit Card
6) Post Office

With my six primary categories in place, it was time to start pitching my idea….

“Unleash the fury!”

Similar to a deadly snake preparing to kill a little hamster, I was targeting select companies in each of the aforementioned categories:

1) Food – Subway, Quiznos (I eat relatively healthy; and these chains can be found just about everywhere)
2) Drink – Coca-Cola, Gatorade, Powerade, Aquafina, YooHoo (Red Bull wasn’t as big then)
3) Shelter – Holiday Inn, Ramada, Best Western, Westin
4) Gas – Chevron, Exxon, Shell, Mobil (before it merged with Exxon)
5) Bank/Credit Card – my trusty MBNA card
6) Post Office – for sending postcards from every ballpark to my older brother, because he would have been jealous

I wrote what resembled a cover letter for a job opening more than a pitch for sponsorship funding. I gave a quick description of myself and why I was going to undertake this journey and why it would benefit said company to sponsor this particular piece of “inventory.”

“I just said we'd make it across. I didn't say anything about the wheels staying on.”

What I provided sponsors consisted solely on public relations value, with some branding thrown in (again, NASCARing my car). Once I set my routing schedule, I would send press releases to media outlets in every city I would visit over the course of that summer. I would invite news crews to ride along with me if they wanted to, interview me throughout the summer (a la “Where in the world is Matt Lauer?”) or snap photos of my Subway, Snapple, Holiday Inn and Exxon-branded Volkswagen. Even through online marketing was in its infancy, I would have found someone or someway to update my traveling journal online…much like this blog.

Sponsors would have their logos seen by everyone I passed on the road, in all of the free press I planned on securing and hopefully some teams would have me drive around their warning tracks to raise awareness for the charitable arm of this adventure…Alzheimer’s disease research.

With my letters sent out, all I had to do was wait for the offers to pour in….

“Anytime you pass up sex, you're cheating on yourself.”

And I did receive one offer…for a full-time job working at what still is the coolest place I have ever worked, The Zipatoni Company in St. Louis. This offer came on April 9, 1999. I couldn’t possibly pass it up, so my dream baseball road trip ended.

The week before graduation, I received a letter from someone at Holiday Inn stating that while they “only sponsored properties and/or charitable causes that reach a large audience,” the Dear John letter did contain a great handwritten note from someone named Jeff:

“For what it’s worth, you have balls, my friend.”

Words I still live by today. Thanks, Jeff.

“Go F*** Yourself, San Diego.”

2006-03-22T08:57:00.000-05:00

By Kurt Hunzeker (with some copy points provided by the movie Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy)

“Good evening. I'm Ron Burgundy and here's what happening in your world tonight.”

And thus starts the second installment of “If I Was In Charge” of a professional sports team. Today, I introduce to you: “Anchorman Night at the Ballpark.”

The second Sparts Marketing Blography post suggested that the Albuquerque Isotopes should have held a “Runaway Bride Night at the Ballpark” following the misadventures of a fleet-footed, would-be Atlanta-area bride. After some good-natured feedback, that one post will now be the founding father of the IIWIC segment.

Now as some can see, the Sparts Marketing Blography enjoys a good movie now and then. The fact that Tom Cruise’s movies (Jerry McGuire and Top Gun) have been used twice should not convey any message other than those will be the only two Tom Cruise movies ever mentioned here. No, the better trend to pick up is the utterly stupid movies that usher in quotes perfect for any situation…even when you are talking about sports marketing.

And next to Caddyshack, the best quotable movie in recent years is clearly Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.

“Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen. Cannonball!”

Here’s how “Anchorman Night” will work at the ballpark:

1) Scrap your regular play-by-play announcer and the public address announcer. Each inning, bring in winners for local promotional contests (either through the team or via a sponsor) to handle each broadcasting job. The winners must be dressed in Ron Burgundy-style clothing (or like Wes Mantooth, Champ Kind, Brian Fontana, etc.). A team representative would have to be in the booth with them and make abundantly clear that absolutely no cussing, crude language, etc. is allowed. Remember, this is a family atmosphere.

2) Admit anyone dressed like a character from Anchorman or even someone who looks like Tom Brokaw, Stone Phillips, Jon Stewart, etc. for free to that game.

3) Invite your local television anchors to the game and have them all throw out a simultaneous first pitch. You can also pair the anchors with the contest winners to do a half-inning.

4) Show Anchorman clips in between innings.

5) Wear burgundy-colored caps that game and auction them off for charity after the game on your web site.

6) Invite any dogs that can speak Spanish to enjoy the game from the grassy knolls behind the outfield. Bears are not invited.

7) Sign any Scotch whisky company to sponsor a post-game celebration at a local bar or restaurant. Or, sign any Scotch tape company to sponsor the game or a segment of the game.

8) If your team is in San Diego, this should be a permanent promotion year-in and year-out.

“I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal.”

The ultimate coup would be to bring in one of the actors from the movie to be the master of ceremonies. This would most likely only work for a large-market team, but you never know…Fred Willard may be available.

(And this is no slight against Fred Willard…the man is a comic genius. Behind Will Ferrell, he’d be my next choice to come out.)

Since I like the movie so much, and waited patiently to unleash its quotes to you, the next two (possibly three) columns will all have Anchorman references.

Until then….

“You stay classy, San Diego. I'm Ron Burgundy?”

“I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise.”

2005-12-16T22:37:00.000-05:00

By Kurt Hunzeker (with some copy points provided by the movie Fight Club)

When a sports nickname and accompanying logo slick are unveiled, and when you first see it, you know “this will change everything we know about sports branding,” it should come as no surprise that it was all a dream.

But it wasn’t.

And thus begins the tale of the split personality now known as the New Hampshire Fisher Cats (aka Brad Pitt’s Tyler Durden), but deep down inside, is still really the New Hampshire Primaries (aka Edward Norton’s unnamed schizophrenic insurance adjuster.)

“I am Jack’s broken heart.”

Unlike some analysts and writers who have touched on this subject, I cannot believe the Primaries/Fisher Cats abandoned the Primaries’ moniker and slick logo set after only three days. When you think of New Hampshire, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Primaries. New Hampshire is best known as the first state to kick off the presidential primary season.

Likewise, what is a fisher cat? According to Dictionary.com, it is “large dark brown North American arboreal carnivorous mammal.” Wow, that really gets me going.

In a recent conversation with a high-ranking member of the Primaries/Fisher Cats’ front office, he said that the team(s) still orders caps every year emblazoned with the “Uncle Sam” logo which debuted when the former New Haven Ravens unveiled its first name for its new home in Manchester.

If the team(s) continually has to re-stock its shelves with this specific Primaries’ cap design, then that should tell you something.

“Pretend you're me, make a managerial decision: you find this, what would you do?”
“Well, I gotta tell you: I'd be very, very careful who you talk to about that, because the person who wrote that... is dangerous.”

So how did the Primaries’ name unravel so fast? Thank the vocal minority (otherwise known as New Hampshire’s sparse Republican lobby) who immediately called up TV stations, newspapers and anyone with a camera, pen or tape recorder and began pooh-poohing the name because “it’s not an animal” (re: New Hampshire Public Radio, November 2003).

As with any new team and/or logo, it takes time for the team to implement the brand into the community. Imagine the possibilities: lawn signs proclaiming allegiance for the new STATE-WIDE team (not just Manchester); team media guides replicating the look and design of campaign pamphlets; and Super Tuesday specials every home Tuesday night game, just to name a few ideas.

But what the naysayers never even considered because it had yet to be unveiled might have cost the team(s) enormous amounts of merchandising revenue…

“I felt like destroying something beautiful.”

Is that what the people of Manchester were saying to themselves when they essentially knifed the Primaries’ name and identity in the back? Seriously, do you think the team regrets not unveiling the alternate caps featuring both mascots of the political party landscape? Would that have changed the public’s perception of the team(s)?

These logos would have not only sold well in Manchester, and not just in all of New Hampshire, or even the political epicenter that is Washington, DC…but EVERYWHERE. Red Staters in Georgia, Missouri and Texas would have purchased the red-capped Republican Elephant, and Blued New Yorkers, Michiganites and Californians would have clamored to order the blue-topped Democrat Donkey. In cap sales alone, the Primaries would have sold tens of thousands of caps.

And just imagine what would happen during big election years…you can hear the cash register ringing in the background….

“I am Jack's smirking revenge.”

So is the Primaries’ name officially dead. Everyone close to the team says quite the contrary. With 2006 a key mid-term election cycle, plan on seeing the Uncle Sam caps crop up more frequently, and not just on the team(s)’ online store. The red-elephant and blue-donkey lids could also escape its exile and show up on retail racks in the coming months.

I can only hope that the team(s)’ top-level brass can see the value in the brand they so quickly buried, and all because of a very vocal, very small minority of talking heads. An election should be in the offing, and We The People should have a say in who wins that Primary.

EDITOR'S NOTE: If you hadn't guessed already, the Primaries' design was developed by Dan Simon of Studio Simon.

“Son, I’m Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?”

2005-07-29T18:33:00.000-04:00

By Kurt Hunzeker (with some copy points provided by the movie Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl)

“Son, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?”

For the second time in 12 years, the city of Pittsburgh will be hosting the Major League Baseball All-Star Game. While such renowned “baseball cities” like St. Louis have yet to enjoy a Midsummer’s Classic since the Sixties, MLB has once again given the Pirates a chance to rekindle its fan base, and add some “oomph” to the somewhat struggling franchise.

Projected estimates have the economic windfall of the 2006 MLB All-Star Game at $52.3 million for the entire All-Star Week; which now consists of a handful of events, all of which have sponsors spending millions of dollars to MLB for the presenting sponsorship.

The first big domino for the ASG debuts on Tuesday, August 2nd, when the Pirates unveil the ASG logo before its home game. A number of dignitaries will be there…but most notably the designer of the logo, Pittsburgh-native Burton Morris.

Morris’ unique design style should breathe some fresh air in what has become a stagnant template for MLB ASG logos: use the host team’s primary colors, incorporate some feature of the host team’s ballpark, and use a font NOT associated with the team as the dominant text style.

Morris’ work (http://www.burtonmorris.com) can be summed up using adjectives like: bright, colorful, moving and energetic…all adjectives not at all descriptive of most ASG logos. His work has been commissioned for museums and rock concerts, menus, consumer product packaging and print advertisements. So this will not be your run of the mill sports logo.

“I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.”

It will be interesting to see how Morris’ logo is received, and the various applications the team will use it (and the design style) for all collateral leading up to the game next year. If I was in charge, I would take this design and:

1. Blanket the city – Every window, door and car should have the artwork proudly displayed. The Seattle Mariners frequently employ this tactic by delivering the season’s particular slogan via a poster or window cling to every business, retail or corporate, in downtown Seattle. It is hard to walk anywhere in downtown Seattle and not see a Mariners’ poster (credit Kevin Martinez, the team’s marketing chief).
2. Uniform the kids – We’re talking above and beyond t-shirts. School book covers, lunch boxes and shoelaces should all have the commemorative logo on it. If a school district has a reading program, every child involved gets a bookmark advertising everything ASG-related.
3. Outfit the ballpark – So what if PNC Park is not that old. Every available nook and cranny should have this design style on it. New signs, new wall coverings…I’d even change the style of the outfield fence.

Here’s the best aspect of using a famed designer for this…it will be timeless. Once the game ends, remove the dated logo, but keep the style up to remind everyone that Pittsburgh put on the best Midsummer’s Classic ever. The ballpark is timeless, so should this logo.

Then again, I’d hate for someone to say this after he/she sees the logo:

“That is, without doubt, the worst pirate I've ever seen.”

“Show me the money!”

2005-07-22T15:46:00.000-04:00

By Kurt Hunzeker (with some copy points provided by the movie Jerry McGuire)

“I am out here for you. You don't know what it’s like to be ME out here for YOU. It is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about, OK?”

What’s harder…A) understanding/believing anything the newly outspoken Tom Cruise says, or B) still being a NHL fan? Toss up, but now we hockey fans get to dust off our favorite team’s caps and proudly wear them once again now that the owners and players agreed that greed did not get them very far last (lost) season.

So now what? Fans like me, the ones with both the home AND away sweaters AND the alternate/vintage home jersey AND at least four caps/visors AND a number of miscellaneous logo-ed merchandise are chomping at the bit to catch a game live again. Unfortunately for the 30 NHL teams out there, our collective group is smaller than the number of people who saw Gigli.

“The key to this business is personal relationships.”

Damn straight. The NHL must become the most fan-friendly sport in the marketplace. Lowered ticket prices are a start, but that’s not a big enough carrot for families deciding between going to the game or catching a rerun of CSI on Spike TV.

NHL marketing executives must trash their previous mindsets of promotions and adopt a hybrid of the zany antics of Minor League Baseball promotions and the completely unknown world of hockey fan-hockey game direct interaction.

Here are some examples, free of charge, to any executive out there (any more on top of this will cost you):

1) Pre-game autograph sessions for kids 15 and under
Post-game won’t cut it because some games end around 11pm. Not only do families beat the traffic, but kids get to tell their hometown players how much they root for them.

And this idea goes both ways…players can sign pictures, trading cards and other collectible items, and young fans can sign the players’ sweaters and sticks. This gives young fans OWNERSHIP of a player and keeps them glued to the game action. Who knows, they may actually watch a game on TV later in the season or tell their buddies at school: “Yeah, Sidney Crosby scored a hat trick last night. It’s because of me.” You telling me that a kid wouldn’t love this?

2) Players REALLY out in the community
I think the only time I have seen players out in the community are in the bar districts after games. They are either patrons or “celebrity bartenders.” Whatever. NHL players need to be in places where families are:
· At malls providing tutorials either inside or in the parking lot (obvious sponsorship opportunities)
· Bagging groceries at local supermarkets, telling people when the next home games are and passing out sales collateral, and/or accepting tips for charity
· Each player should sponsor his own Mighty Mites team of young hockey players; so that 18-24 teams are created, teaching youngsters about the sport while aligning them with local players; these teams could play each other during the intermissions of each and every home game (always a crowd favorite)

3) Touch glass
Who sits “on the glass” at most hockey games? Drunk corporate yahoos. Send them back one row and let the kids bang on the glass and cheer on their favorite players. Not only will this eliminate vulgar heckling between obnoxious fans and pissed off players, but it will foster a closer bond of the sport with these young fans. Every third seat must be occupied by a kid 15 and under. Mom and Dad can tag along as well.

“Anyone else would have left you by now, but I'm sticking with you. And if I have to ride your ass like Zorro, you're gonna show me the money.”

A sports league NEVER gets an opportunity to rebuild itself, re-establish itself and re-vitalize itself the way the NHL can in the coming days, weeks and months leading up to the new season’s start on October 5. I even like the new, sleek brand the league unveiled today.

If the NHL continues this forward thinking, I won’t be the only one in the stands voicing (very, very loudly) my approval.

“Nothing is Over Until We Decide It Is! Was It Over When the Germans Bombed Pearl Harbor?”

2005-07-06T10:42:00.000-04:00

By Kurt Hunzeker (with some copy points provided by the movie Animal House)

That aspiring quote comes from a future senator…as the final credits to Animal House suggest. (Senator) John “Bluto” Blutarsky spoke this memorable line to try to rally his Delta brothers to fight back against Dean Wormer and the boys from Alpha house.

But this quote could easily serve as the basis for Marquette University’s ill-conceived nickname switch this summer. Without addressing the student body or key alumni, Marquette’s top decision-makers wanted a new moniker for the entire university.

A switch from “Warriors” to “Golden Eagles” was necessitated when the Jesuit institution found it hard to have a name referring to physical and lethal attackers associated with a private, Christian school. The “Golden Eagles” name never caught on in just about every facet of the Marquette community.

So the university decided to spend thousands of dollars to create a new brand, a new name and a new era for Marquette…except they forgot to tell anyone else.

When the school forced the nickname “Gold” on the unsuspecting Marquette public, backlash could not come fast enough. With the outcry so strong, so pointed and in such large numbers, from students to members of the athletics department to elected community officials, the school had to backpedal and backpedal fast to cushion the blow of this public relations fiasco.

To make a long story short, the “Gold” was scrapped and Marquette’s voting public decided that the “Golden Eagles” was far better than anything the close-knit early selectors could come up with.

It could be that this lesson on crisis management, wasted resources and funds and horrid research helped the owners of the expansion New York-Penn League State College (PA) franchise to transfer the power of naming the team to its prospective fans. (The same ownership group controls the Eastern League’s Altoona Curve.)

The new Minor League Baseball club began its “name the team” contest by accepting submissions from fans in the State College and Centre County communities. Seven popular submissions moved on to a semi-final round of voting, again open to the public, whose collective voice would determine three finalists.

As fast as Black Bears, Copperheads, Miners, Mountain Bats, Ridge Riders, Sliders and Stags became popular, they were “dropped like 3rd period French” (Ocean’s 11).

Instead of forcing one of those names down their fans’ throats, State College’s owners conducted focus groups, town hall-type meetings and one-on-one conversations to see what the local area’s residents rally around, believe in and hold dear. The passion, thoughts and suggestions from these interactions paved the way for the club to not only announce a new set of finalists, but to create categories representative of life in State College/Centre County, and nicknames that reflect those groups: farming, fishing, iron-making, Penn State University and wildlife.

Borrowing from the team’s press release, here are the nickname finalists’ that correspond to each aforementioned category (in case you missed it):

ANGLERS – Representing the fishing category, an angler is another name for a fisherman who uses a hook and line. Centre County is blessed with 37 different trout streams, meaning many residents can already call themselves “anglers.”

COALYS – The name Coalys represents a tale from the early days of Penn State University. Coaly was the name of a legendary mule that helped haul materials in the construction of Old Main and other campus buildings in the mid- and late-1800s. “Old Coaly” became such a favorite of students that he served as the informal university mascot before the adoption of the Nittany Lion in 1904. So great was the University's affection for Old Coaly that after his death in 1893, his skeleton was preserved and is currently on display inside the HUB-Robeson Center on the Penn State campus.

FURNACE – From the rich history of iron production in Centre County comes the name Furnace. The borough of State College is located on land originally part of the land holdings of a community named Centre Furnace, which was established in 1791 by Revolutionary War veterans John Patton and Samuel Miles in an area rich with iron ore.

HAYMAKERS – As a nod to the rich agricultural history of Centre County – and Penn State University itself – comes the name Haymakers, referring to farmers who make hay for the purpose of feeding their livestock. Interestingly, Penn State University was established in 1855 by the Pennsylvania Agricultural Society as a school for farmers to learn improved methods to grow crops.

SPIKES – Representing the wildlife category is the name Spikes, referring to the un-branched antler of a young male deer. The name signifies the popularity of deer hunting in Centre County, while also serving as a metaphor for a young minor leaguer who may or may not develop into a major leaguer, just as a young deer may or may not develop a full set of antlers. Spikes also have a railroad connotation, which links it to the Altoona Curve, whose secondary logo includes a railroad spike through a baseball.

State College followed the chain of events I outlined in Sparts Marketing’s first column, and that is:

A) Drive you the fan to follow the team, which then leads you to
B) Buy tickets for the upcoming game so you can be around others who like the team, which then leads you to
C) Buy merchandise and apparel that lets you tell others that you associate with said team, which then leads to
D) A stadium full of logo-ed fans, buying hot dogs, sodas, beers and that ever popular $300 retro jersey, which then leads teams to
E) Design and unveil commemorative logos (anniversary, retro, turn-ahead-the-clock, alternate, yada yada yada) to make more money due to
F) Everyone just having to buy ANYTHING with that logo on it, because it's a collectible, which then leads to....

Here’s hoping future name-changers follow the State College example and not the Marquette fiasco.

The Sparts Alphabet

2005-05-27T11:41:00.000-04:00

By Kurt Hunzeker

Teaching children their ABCs and 123s sounds easy. Most parents flip on PBS or one of the 18 Nickelodeon channels on DirecTV, stick their kids in front of the tube and tell them to have at it. My niece can even count to 20 in Spanish thanks to Dora the Explorer.

But I wanted to create something that will not only help my future kids (the good Lord willing) learn their alphabets, but will look great adorned in their sports-themed bedrooms for years to come.

So I created the ABCs of Sparts Marketing. I wish I could say that the design was an original thought, but the idea sparked when I found artist Heidi Cody’s “American Alphabet” design:

http://www.heidicody.com/images/art/alphabet/index.html

Teams frequently use the first letters in either their city’s name or nickname for their logos (be it primary, secondary, cap, whatever): A – Atlanta Braves, Alabama Crimson Tide, Colorado Avalanche, etc.

I decided to be judge, jury and executioner when I created the “Sparts Alphabet,” a new sports-only representation of Cody’s work. This poster embodies and colorfully depicts how art has not only changed but also energized the sports industry in recent years.

The goal was to incorporate as many different sports, leagues and levels into this design, to accurately portray the wide breadth of sports in the world today. In my opinion, these are the best lettered-brands in sports today, and this is certainly debatable.

I am looking forward to hanging this up in my kids’ rooms to help not only explain the ABCs to them, but to show them my life’s passion in a simple, 26-letter display.

A - California Angels (MLB), B - Cincinnati Bengals (NFL), C - Columbus Catfish (MiLB), D - Denver Broncos (NFL), E - Real Salt Lake (MLS), F - Atlanta Falcons (NFL), G - Houston Gamblers (USFL), H - University of Hawaii (NCAA), I - Indianapolis Indians (MiLB), J - West Tenn Diamond Jaxx (MiLB), K - Charlotte Knights (MiLB), L - Los Angeles Lakers (NBA), M - Colorado Mammoth (NLL), N - Quebec Nordiques (NHL), O - Las Vegas Outlaws (XFL), P - Indiana Pacers (NBA), Q - Berlin Thunder (NFLE), R - Arizona Rattlers (AFL), S - The Swing of the Quad Cities (MiLB), T - Tennessee Titans (NFL), U - University of South Florida (NCAA), V - St. Louis Vipers (RHI), W - Winnipeg Blue Bombers (CFL), X - Chicago White Sox (MLB), Y - Yuma Scorpions (GBL), Z - New Orleans Zephyrs (MiLB)

Nine Lives

2005-05-06T11:51:00.000-04:00

An interview with Dan Simon, founder of Studio Simon (http://www.studiosimon.com/)
By Kurt Hunzeker

“The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Mudville Nine that day….”

And so starts the famed 1888 poem, “Casey at the Bat” by Ernest Lawrence Thayer. With roots based in the 18th Century, it should come as no surprise that the Mudville Nine are still alive today, even though they may not take the field anytime soon.

“A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The restClung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast….”

The fans of the dismal California League Stockton Ports had little to cheer about; and it wasn’t the team that had the fans booing. The old Billy Hebert Field, what used to be the 4th oldest ballpark in the United States, was old, dilapidated and (insert 32 other synonyms for “old”).

Once the sale of the Los Angeles Dodgers to Rupert Murdoch (of FOX fame) was finalized, the children of former owner Peter O’Malley purchased the Ports. After their first season with the club, the 13 second-generation owners wanted a fresh start for a team (and fan base) saddled with an aging stadium and below average merchandise sales. No one was rallying around the Ports or Billy Hebert Field.

“Then from five thousand throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It knocked upon the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
For Casey, Mighty Casey, was advancing to the bat.”

Research suggests that Casey’s team was based in Stockton. To help launch their efforts for a new, state-of-the-art ballpark, team principal owners Tom Seidler and Kevin O’Malley, hired former Dodger co-worker and Studio Simon founder Dan Simon to breathe new life into the franchise with a brand identity package based on the poem’s hero’s team name – the Mudville Nine.

As an avid baseball fan, Simon had plenty of materials to work with during the initial drafting process. Basing what would be the Nine’s primary mark’s character on a combination of various players from the early 1900s, Simon developed a few sketches to show his train of thought to Seidler and O’Malley. Together, all three established “a direction that we all felt was ‘it,’” according to Simon. “It was just one of those rare times when everything just falls into place from the get-go.”

Although Seidler and O’Malley’s efforts with the city of Stockton were going nowhere slow, Simon continued developing other brand components to drive the new Nine identities to local residents. Typically, minor league teams equal minor (league) budgets for creative development. But due to his prior relationships with the Nine’s management team, and his desire “to do things right,” Simon created a number of innovative brand platforms for the Nine he otherwise might not have done, based on the budget parameters. Additional brand vehicles included: a stationery package of letterhead, envelopes, business cards and mailing labels; a teaser billboard; program cover art; mascot development; youth mark; venue mark; kids fan club mark; and the Mudville Nine Pale Ale label mark for the team’s deal with a local microbrewery.

Merchandise sales for anything emblazoned with the Nine logo soared during the team’s first season with the new moniker. Baseball fans in towns on the East Coast purchased caps, t-shirts and novelty items with the Nine logo due to their association with the “Casey at the Bat” poem, or the uniqueness of the Nine look and numeric cap logo.

“But there is no joy in Mudville – Mighty Casey has struck out.”

Unfortunately for all Nine fans (which there were more than nine), Seidler, O’Malley and the rest of the ownership group could not get a new stadium deal done. Instead of outright selling the team, the 13 Nine owners “traded” the rights to the franchise to the group heading the rival Visalia Oaks, with one exception…the “Mudville Nine” name and branding package went with the O’Malley kids to Visalia, where it continues today.

The original Mudville Nine Web site is still active (http://www.mudville.com/), even featuring the famed poem written in 1888. The Oaks continue to sell Nine merchandise, although Simon won’t be buying any Nine apparel anytime soon. As part of his compensation package, Simon received a bounty of logo-ed gear during the team’s inaugural year.

The fancy new Banner Island Ballpark, a key component in the city’s $126 million sports and entertainment development project, has finally replaced Billy Hebert Field. An expansion ECHL (minor league hockey; the equivalent of Class AA minor league baseball) franchise will play next door in the new Stockton Arena this fall, and join the once-again named Ports as the franchise cornerstones for the city.

Since Seidler and O’Malley own the rights to the “Mudville Nine,” the Nine may take the field again in a city not named Stockton. But until then, Mighty Casey will just have to wait to make up for that whiffed at bat.

Runaway Bride Night at the Ballpark

2005-05-02T12:09:00.000-04:00

Dear Albuquerque Isotopes,

In light of my recent trip to your lovely city of Albuquerque, I think all soon-to-be-brides, both looking forward to achieving their MRS. degrees, and those (like me) who are bat-crazy, should gather at an Isotopes' game for "Runaway Bride Night" sometime in the coming weeks.

Not only would these lovely fiancees (and fiances; the bridegrooms should be included as well, since they are the ones who have to deal with us) cheer on the Isotopes, they would look great wearing an Isotopes-branded veil, corsage or garter belt, sponsored by a local formalwear specialty store.

Please let me know when this fun promotional day will occur...I'm dying to get out of Atlanta.

Tenderly,
Jennifer Wilbanks

A new way of thinking begins....

2005-04-29T09:12:00.000-04:00

My good friend, Daniel Webster, took pen/quill to paper/papyrus and defined these terms:

sport, n. 1. an often competitive athletic activity requiring skill or physical prowess; 2. diversion; recreation; 3. jest, pleasantry; 4. mockery, ridicule

art, n. 1. the production, expression, or realm of what is beautiful; 2. a field or category of art; 3. illustrative or decorative material; 4. skill in conducting a human activity; 5. a branch of learning; 6. skilled workmanship or execution

mar-ket-ing, n. 1. the act or process of buying and selling in a market; 2. the commercial functions involved in transferring goods from producer to consumer

So, using the transitive property of mathematics...

sparts mar-ket-ing, n. 1. the analytical (and sometimes comical) study of the styles that continually change the game on and off the field; 2. the business mentality of fusing sports (recreation and pleasantry) with art (expression, decorative material and skilled workmanship) as it relates to marketing (commercial functions involved in transferring goods from producer to consumer); see also: generating new merchandising revenues, shedding a "loser image" and activating sports brands

This won't be like your dull-to-the-senses business review of what's hot, what's not and what's just gawd-awful. I'll be more than sporting (jest, pleasantry) to great designs and innovative branding ideas and applications...and I will be just as sporting (mockery, ridicule) for horrid "art" that seems to kill sports properties and events before they even begin selling tickets.

This will be an educational forum outlining the creative development of sports marketing, er, I mean sparts marketing, brand treatments, advertising communications and any and all consumer-targeted messages designed to:

A) Drive you the fan to follow the team, which then leads you to

B) Buy tickets for the upcoming game so you can be around others who like the team, which then leads you to

C) Buy merchandise and apparel that lets you tell others that you associate with said team, which then leads to

D) A stadium full of logo-ed fans, buying hot dogs, sodas, beers and that ever popular $300 retro jersey, which then leads teams to

E) Design and unveil commemorative logos (anniversary, retro, turn-ahead-the-clock, alternate, yada yada yada) to make more money due to

F) Everyone just having to buy ANYTHING with that logo on it, because it's a collectible, which then leads to....

Well, you get the point. The entire business of sport (or sports, depending on where you are from), gravitates, rotates and always leads back to the team's brand. Stop and think about your favorite team and the reasons why they changed logos (new ballpark/stadium/arena, new "attitude," relocation) or why they didn't (tradition). In addition to the obvious departments that bank on new branding initiatives (merchandising), others like ticket sales, community outreach programs and Kids Clubs all score big when a new logo sucessfully unveils (that is for a different discussion).

Guest writers will offer their insights into the creative process, including the designers who created the either hot-selling logos and uniforms, and the culprits using Microsoft Word to design anything other than a memo.

I welcome any and all comments, so please tell me. And remember, this is for posterity, so... be honest. How do you feel? (I will include random movie quotes to make my point, much like this one from "The Princess Bride.")

The Sparts Marketing Web site (www.spartsmarketing.com) will be up and running soon, containing in-depth research on the HOW and WHY a new logo and/or uniform set was created, not just on the unveiling itself (for that, please visit my good friends at the Society of Sports Uniform Research at www.ssur.org.

Lesson #1 begins next Friday. Please bring your No.2 pencil and plenty of loose leaf, college-ruled paper....